Psalm 73: 25
‘Whom have I in Heaven but You?
And there is none upon the earth that I desire besides You
My flesh and my heart fail
But God is the strength of my heart and portion forever’
This is one of my favorite scripture in the bible. I love the psalms so much because there’s so much truth and reality in it.
I heard this song when all is said and done this week for the first time and I fell in love with it instantly. Today was one of those days where I didn’t want to read my bible, I didn’t feel like praying but I wanted God, I want him so much.
I’ve been doing my quiet time and daily bible reading in the book of Daniel and also a character study on David. Today I wasn’t in a good mindset of reading anything.
So as usual I procrastinated. But this morning the Holy Spirit put a song on my heart – by Tommy walker a gain, Thank you for loving me. I sang it the whole morning.
I ways preparing to do my quiet time so I played when all I said and done as I have been this whole week, I was also listening to a message in the background, when my bishop starts singing the exact same song. I was shocked but immediately I felt so upset but not in an upset I want to cry my eyes out way, it was more like a longing or an unidentifiable desire. Like you know when
You’re upset when you’re younger for no reason; when you just wanted your mum or you dad to carry you, embrace and give you attention? Yea that.
I was messaging a few people and I immediately got really unbothered for no reason, so I turned off my phone and I picked up my guitar and started singing. I learnt the chords to when all is said and done (which was straight forward thank God) so I just kept singing and singing and singing.
And it all made sense; unknowingly I actually changed the lyrics of the song.
I changed the lyrics from
‘When the best the world has just leaves me feeling numb
Lord You’re really all I want’
‘To when the best of both worlds has me feeling
Numb lord you’re really all I want’
This was a message that I needed urgently. Lately, doing my daily routine, prayer, hearing about other people’s relationship with Christ – left me numb to my relationship with Christ.
I became so focused on the process that I didn’t have an ear to what God was saying anymore. I became numb to the experience that I forgot what God was taking me through.
All that I want is Christ – just want to feel him near. But sometimes we can get so lost in the process that we forget the motivation.
I just want to use this to encourage someone. if you’ve been like me for a while and you’ve lost the true motive or you’ve become numb, spending time with Christ has become a chore – let’s stop text book Christianity. Your spirit is crying out for the father’s embrace …
You heart, your flesh will fail, people will fail! That’s for definite, but let’s not forgets our motivation. CHRIST! May we never forget Christ in Jesus Name!. Everything else will fail in the end- take down any ulterior motives; let’s go back to our relationship with Christ
Christ who loved us whilst we were yet sinners, who loved us before we even knew what love was.
Let’s stay Burning, stay blessed
(This needs major editing ahah and the singing isn’t top notch but if I delayed posting, knowing me ill most likely never post this – so i’ll edit soon (maybe :p) )
Fys, Teni x